My family has been preparing for Halloween for weeks. The conversations my wife, Joanna, and I have had in the early years of parenting have pushed us to consider whether we place more emphasis on popular celebrations than on holy ones. As parents of three children (ages 5, 3, and 1), we continue to talk about and plan how to navigate the cultural holiday of Halloween with the Church’s observance of All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day.

Halloween is exciting for our young kids. That is a fact. They love walking around with their cousins and friends. They love dressing in something funny and different for the afternoon. And, of course, they love the candy. As a parent, I can appreciate how this holiday is an example of how children are both innocent and joyful.

In the midst of this excitement, my wife and I have come up with a few ideas for how Halloween can be a time to introduce our kids to celebrating the saints and remembering all those who have died.

Talking about holiness

First, we are trying to be more intentional, saying that we will go to Mass the day after Halloween for All Saints’ Day. We can enjoy the fun of Halloween while also framing it inside of the Catholic context of the call to holiness. For our five-year-old, Benedict, and our three-year-old, Gabriel, this takes the form of learning their prayers, sharing with one another, and speaking better to each other.

Our conversations about holiness usually take place during prayers before bedtime, and we have incorporated praying a decade of the Rosary every Tuesday night. While we were doubtful about their ability to pay attention, they have surprised us tremendously. Now, there are evenings when one of the boys asks to pray the decade even though it is not a Tuesday.

Learning about the saints

We’ve also shifted our attention to the saints in the month of October. Gabriel’s birthday is October 1, and Benedict’s birthday is October 6. So, we celebrate them while also teaching them about their namesakes. At dinner, for any given feast day of the month, we ask the saint for his or her prayers while explaining something simple to the kids about their lives. Before bed, we pray a Hail Mary and Our Father, recalling the saint again and asking for their intercession.

Remembering the dead

We are also trying to incorporate ways to pray for our loved ones who have died by telling our kids about our own grandparents and their influence on our lives. This way, when we pray together as a family on All Souls’ Day, the act of remembering those who have died can bring greater clarity about what is most important in life.

All of these are little ways that we are trying to center our family more around the true holy day that we are leading up to at the end of October while reminding ourselves that we do not have to deny everything about the world in order to strive for holiness. While at the same time, developing a clear vision and focus on forming our children to know Jesus and his love above everything else.