More than 50 couples engaged to be married in the Church this year attended a pre-Cana day at St. Joseph’s Seminary in Yonkers, a gathering that featured a talk from a local priest about the holy sacrament of matrimony.

Father Christian Amah, parochial vicar at St. John the Baptist Church in Yonkers, told the attentive couples that “when the spirituality is right, when it’s alive, everything else works well, everything else falls into place in a very, very good way.” The all-day session occurred on Saturday, January 24. 

Pre-Cana Day, named after the Bible’s wedding at Cana story, is a New York archdiocesan program offered to parishes that are preparing couples for marriage in the Church.

“The end goal is not only to receive the sacrament but to become a sacrament for each other,” Father Amah said, noting to the couples that during their pending weddings, “the grace of marriage is being bestowed on you.” He said each couple should realize that “what the grace does is to help us become who God is to each other.”

He also told the couples that “throughout your marriage you’ll see different ways that the grace of God shows up that make the marriage better, whether it is a time of sickness, a time of want, a time of pain, or misunderstanding. And giving the grace of God a chance and having him walk through all that is very powerful.”

Lining up for confession

Father Amah said to the couples that holy matrimony is designed for each spouse to lead the other to heaven. He said in marriage they should keep in mind: “We are growing towards God, and so it gets better and better.” And he asserted the importance of maintaining “a domestic church” through frequent prayer and Scripture readings as part of homelife. His talk included a blessing, and some couples lined up to meet with him for confession during the lunch break.

The gathering also featured talks from one of the program’s facilitators, Kelly Vardakas, who is a director of Religious Education at St. John the Evangelist Church in Mahopac. It also included videos with testimonials from married couples, and a morning welcome video message from Cardinal Timothy Dolan. During the lunch break, Brooklyn Auxiliary Bishop James Massa, rector of the seminary, also welcomed the couples.

Importance of communication and unity

“Words of affirmation and quality time,” Vardakas cited, in advising the couples to bring those important components into their marriage, keeping in mind that these are part of what is needed “for maintaining the good communion of persons that we are meant to live as.”

She noted the importance of developing and maintaining productive communication skills for the sake of dealing well with possible challenges related to finances, parenting, and job loss.

She also noted the significance of related Church teachings, including Theology of the Body and Natural Family Planning. And unity is paramount, Vardakas explained: “Guard your spouse from the influence of others.”

In the wedding at Cana, through the intercession of Mary, Jesus turns water into wine after the initial wine supply runs out. In their talks, Vardakas and Father Amah noted the importance of couples keeping Christ at the center of their relationship, so that the Lord can continue providing them with a supply of spiritual fortitude needed for guidance and joy in their marriage and in their parenthood.

Words of appreciation

Michael R. Urda and Monia R. Srinivasa, both 35, were among the couples that attended the Pre-Cana session at the seminary. Urda is a parishioner of St. Joseph Church in the Yorkville section of the Upper East Side. Srinivasa’s church is Good Shepherd in the Inwood area of northern Manhattan. They spoke with The Good Newsroom before lunch.

“It was really helpful to think about what happens when life gives you struggles, and how you have to turn to God, when the wine (metaphorically) runs out,” Urda, a charter-school teacher in the Bronx, said of Father Amah’s presentation. “I really enjoyed his message for us, the dependence that we have on the sacrament.”

Srinivasa, a management consultant in Manhattan, said she appreciated that the talks from Vardakas and Father Amah focused on maintaining a homelife centered on the faith, “sacrificing for each other, reflecting that sacrifice that Christ had for us…The talks were very practical. The sacrament of marriage is mystical.” She said the talks explained well “the long-term vision of life, and also the practicalities on how to live it.”